I know!

So I was reading in either Psalms or Isaiah or Jeremiah the other day....I can't remember, even though I've looked up the verse on multiple occassions. Can't recall. Anyways, there was a verse that stated something to the effect of "the heart is the most deceiving thing that exists." I found this very interesting. It makes sense. I mean, behind the most despicable individuals or acts or ludicrous things in life lies a person with a heart....and now we know about that heart ;0). I now find it amusing and helpful as it relates to coping with people in my field of work to think of their situations in terms of that stupid deceptive heart!! Of all of the people or systems or bureaucracies that plague my life, its funny to me to think that none of them has earned the label of most deceptive---not even the embodiment of Satan himself. The heart gets the award. None of these things are truths that I have not discussed with some of you previously---but aside from all the talk--here it is hiding in Jeremiah! Seems pretty cut and dry to me. Imagine a life in which our whole "spiritual strategy" was to kick our own heart's trash. Forget everyone else, focus on yourself---your heart is the problem here---it's the only thing truly fooling you. If you can master what your own jacked up heart thinks, you've won the war. But then does it know what it doesn't know or is it covering up what you don't know with what you think that you know and those that you know don't know what they know or don't know until LJ blogs a blog entitled 'I know!.' Hilarious. Again, nothing particularly revolutionary--but further confirmation that life is complicated because it's made of people and those gosh darn hearts!
Okay, I went and looked it up "The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

"You know what I'm sayin?!"

I spent THREE hours with a woman who said this to me approximately three times per minute. That's approximately 540 "You know what I'm sayin?!" 's. Ridiculousness at its best. "Miss Laura! I'm NOT an alcoholic--I can stop whenever I want, I just need my 6 beers a day to mellow! You know what I'm sayin?!"
My favorite part was when her child was throwing a full blown tantrum before having his blood drawn. His mom had made a deal with him that if he was brave, he could have a piece of candy. Since he starting crying again, Mom says "Fine! Then give me back my candy!" I've never seen anything so pathetic in my whole life....the boy gets up, tears streaming down his face, pulls the candy out of his mouth, and puts it in her hand as if to say "PLEASE don't make me do this---I'll do ANYTHING!" Children giving up candy is like me begging for my life. I couldn't help but laugh, it was just too funny.
Aside from surviving his blood draw, which required 7 people---4 nurses to hold, me and Mom holding and distracting, and 1 blood sucker---my biggest victory of the day was one of my children having a WHOLE day with NO time outs! You just don't understand, he had 6 yesterday! It's been an effort to motivate him to get his act together--and he worked his stuff today--Mom was almost in tears she was so proud. I drove to that baby's house just to tell him how proud I was of him. Too funny. And then I find myself crunching numbers for our "Summit City Security" budget---website soon to come! (no joke)
The other day I was writing a letter because I was angry and frustrated. With no one in particular, but simultaneously multiple people in particular. I knew faces were just a means to distract from more serious/lasting issues, so I just wrote it to no one--but wrote my frustrations. It was particularly hilarious because I felt as though it really summarized my restlessness, exhaustion, and frustration in 3-4 paragraphs (cause I'm good like that!)---but after reading it through a few times, I realized that what I had seemed to have written is what I suspect the Lord's frustrations with me are, currently. I immediately thought of the line I so often throw out regarding my 4 year olds "We see problems in others before we see them in ourselves." I don't know if its because I act a fool so much (don't answer this) but I think one of the reasons why I treasure working with children is because its so easy to understand how/why people are just complicated. Yes, sin is black and white much of the time, but people are complicated and life is hard sometimes. You know what I'm sayin?!

A page has turned?....or at least fluttered in the wind

The Lord has been good to me for a long time--but the fast few days its been spelled out in him opening my eyes to me being right where he wants me, vocation wise.  The past few months have been some of the most difficult emotionally, and physically...and whom I'm kidding spiritually, yet.  But I'm starting to feel like (and it feels like it almost happened overnight) I've got this.  

And not only that, but it being my first job and all--that reality very much translates into me feeling comfortable in my own skin--and that, my friends, cannot be bought.  

I think that I've had this idea in my head, for awhile, of who I want to be---and I'm just not that person--not that I couldn't be, but in some ways I don't think I want to be anymore.  

The other day I was pressuring Cleveland to talk to a higher up about someone on staff actin' a fool....my favorite line with him lately is that he's a big softy.  And he made a few comments about how he feels like he's a softy around me because I'm always pressuring him to toughen up on people.  And how I keep him on his toes.  It was quite humorous.  Today, I was working with a 6 year old on expressing anger appropriately--so we were making a list of things that help him to calm down---I suggested carrying a silly picture in his pocket and asked him if he had one.  The boy said "There's one!" And pointed to my ID badge!  DANG 6 YEAR OLD FACE BURN!  It was amazing, I gave him a high five.  I positively reinforced a face burn!!  Those are my ramblings, now I must go home.