I'm getting older too...

There have been a handful of moments in my life in which I felt "this is what I what I exist to do." 

The first of which was during the summer of 2006, my first week as a camp counselor.  There was only one other week of Camp I'd ever experienced that was as bad as this one--and the first one I wasn't the counselor, meaning I just was a witness to the slaughter.  ;0)

All of my 13-16 yr old girls were "saved," or so they thought ;0)  I remember our room, that it was stifling hot that week and we all wet paper towels to sleep with just to get a little relief...I had two girls who blatantly told me what I was going to do as their counselor all week long--I tried to control the situation the best I knew how, but it was only my first week and I used to be a big softy--I distinctly remember laying on my bed during nap time, writing to the Lord...pouring out all of my anguish and inadequacy....I remember finally having enough, trying to speak through my tears to my boss about two girls who needed to go home right before the last campfire....walking them to the office while they just screamed and verbally assaulted me...and if that wasn't enough action to make me quit, then at 2AM the next morning, I was awoken by one of the girls who had a dream/visions of the devil attacking her. Her nickname was Queena, hilariously enough.  She was "the tough girl."  I had to convince her to get out of bed, she was terrified and covered in sweat---we got out into the lounge and she was borderline hyperventilating.  She said she felt pain, she felt him hurting her, and saw him, etc, etc.  I vividly remember holding her face with both of my hands, and staring into her desperate eyes, and just assuring her of God's truth--of why she didn't have to fear--of His presence, of His power--any scripture verse I could think of dealing with fighting fear...just pouring truth into her.   And I remember thinking at some point--this is exactly what God created me for.  There have been so many people I've encountered in which I've just wanted to grab their face and pour all the truth I know into them, but it wasn't appropriate (if that makes sense).  I think I treasure that moment with Queena so much because I was able to do that which, at the core of who I am--is exactly what I desire to make my life about.  Grabbing the face of an individual crushed by the lies of Satan, and assuring them of hope, truth, someone who loves them.  That's a significant part as to why I love Camp so much.  To be able to love God through who you are fully, without feeling the need for reservation because in that community is recognition of dependence on one another, dependence on God for everything---everyone is lacking, but that's what makes us great...we find hope in/through each other.