I was amused....I'm a sucker for my own amusement

Stolen from A.D..:0)

If I were a month, I’d be March
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday
If I were a time of day, I’d be 5:00pm
If I were a "planet," I’d be Saturn (not a bad fat joke)
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a sea turtle.

If I were a direction, I’d be West
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a daybed.
If I were a liquid, I’d be chocolate milk.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be topaz.
If I were a tree, I’d be an oak tree.

If I were a tool, I’d be a plumber's helper (lol)
If I were a flower, I’d be a tiger lily.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be 80 degrees with wind.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a harmonica.
If I were a color, I’d be a dark blue.

If I were an emotion, I’d be constrained.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a tangerine.
If I were a sound, I’d be a "ding, ding, ding."
If I were an element, I’d be air.
If I were a car, I’d be a beater.

If I were a food, I’d be mashed potatoes.
If I were a place, I’d be a park.
If I were a material, I’d be cotton.
If I were a taste, I’d taste like green bean casserole.
If I were a scent, I’d be the smell before it rains.

If I were an animal, I’d be a bulldog.
If I were an object, I’d be a book.
If I were a body part, I’d be the eyes.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a smirk.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be galoshes.