I don't like writing on the back of a page in a notebook. I am right-handed; writing on the left page feels odd and awkward. Sloppy. Imperfect. And the notebook is thicker on the right which lends to more stability. The left side shifts or the pages lift slightly. Insecure. Messy. You know this conflict.
If I dare to write on the back page in a notebook, I have to cope with random glimpses of my could-be-compared-to-a-grade-school-child creation on the page opposite where I am writing. Writing on the front, whilst glimpsing at the back.
So I don't acknowledge that back page anymore. You assume accurately; I have whole journals half full because I don't want glimpses of the back page.
The only problem, aside from my rigidity, is that every front page has a back side. My stories are incomplete without acknowledgment of those pages.
If I can't acknowledge the back pages, how I am sabotaging the front ones?
A journal full of front pages only is a half-truth.
I write on the back page and I cringe every time. Can I be brave whilst catching glimpses? Will the glimpses change my front page?
Maybe stories aren't meant to be in a notebook.
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